Building a Loving Marriage: The Courage to Change!


by AJ Hall

I can say confidently: I love my wife more today than the day I married her.

Not only do I feel more in love with her, I actually love her more. I’m able to love her more because my capacity to love has grown—my heart has become more open to her; I’m more devoted to her, I’m more sensitive to her touch, and I have a deeper appreciation for her.

When we first got married, I had all the same feelings of attraction. I’ve always been attracted to my wife—how could you not be? She’s beautiful!

But I also had a 25-year-old, established practice of closing myself off to any deeper kind of relationship. My walls were up. My mask was on. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had shut myself off to any form of intimacy—I couldn’t tolerate anything that got to close to me. I had engineered safeguards against ever having to experience the sting of rejection.

Isn’t it amazing how we human beings can craft such intricate, interpersonal systems of behavior to keep people out—without even being aware of it?

But here’s the truth: We all have our junk. We all have strange tendencies. We all carry pain and hurt from our past.

Doesn’t marriage have a way of drawing our pain to the surface?!

But you’re not stuck where you are! You can change! You can grow! You can be free!

Let me encourage you today: YOU can build a great marriage! I don’t care how jacked up you are! If I can have a good marriage, anybody can have a good marriage!

Doesn’t matter how much pain and fear has been jam-packed into that soul of yours, you can learn to love and be loved. You can learn to let people in!

It just starts with one simple thing:

the COURAGE to change!


Click here for “5 Practical Steps to Grow in Love



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